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Feb 13, 2017lukasevansherman rated this title 1.5 out of 5 stars
"Dude, Grendel's mom is hot!"-Adolescent boys everywhere. Like many high school and college students, you may have had to struggle through the Old English poem "Beowulf," which is the oldest work of literature in English. Unlike many, you probably didn't think, "Hey, this would make a great movie! It just needs weird animation, a sexy monster, and John Malkovich." "Beowulf" was clearly made to cash in on the epic fantasy of "The Lord of the Rings," but boy does it fall short. If you've seen "The Polar Express" or the Jim Carrey "Christmas Carol," also directed by Robert Zemeckis, you're familiar with the weirdly unsettling motion capture animation. The actors look sort of like themselves, but with an uncanny valley animated veneer that is more often than not creepy and fake. I couldn't get past that, but even if I could, the movie is pretty terrible. The cast is game, but they can only do so much, although I liked Crispin Glover's Grendel. You don't need your 3D glasses to figure out which parts were meant to be seen in 3D (like arrows rushing at the viewer). Co-written by Neil Gaiman ("Sandman," "Coraline"), but he can't be blamed for this mess. I bet the Beowulf poet is turning over in his grave right now. If, you know, he hadn't decomposed centuries ago.